March 16th 2020 My daughter started coughing. Nothing terrible. Normal winter kid stuff. But no school now, and no going out for any of us. Four days later I was due to shoot a gorgeous wedding at Swancar Farm, in Nottingham. Anna and Mike’s wedding won’t be blogged here, because I didn’t shoot it. My friend, Becky, did instead, and while I was editing the photos I was blown away by her skill. Anna and Mike had their wedding, and I’m so glad they did. I’m so glad they got that time with their friends and family before we all had to stop everything a few days later.

I’ve cried before when editing, when I’ve got to a moment that really tugged on my heartstrings on the day itself, but this was a new one for me. The feelings just poured from my face. I missed their wedding, and then another, and another. Slowly but surely, my work just slipped through my fingers. Like so many other photographers I felt caught in the headlights, but did my best to put a brave face on, reassure my couples, mine the internet for information and keep on keeping on. Like so many people, Lockdown was, for me, one of the hardest things I’ve ever endured. I know, privileged right?!

After a few days I started picking up my camera, and took some of the most depressing photos of my life. And then something changed. The sun came out in the middle of April, and the kids were bored as hell. We ventured out and I kept my camera on me at all times. It wasn’t always what I wanted to do, but I knew what I needed to do. I’m someone who documents life - how on earth could I not document this historic event we were surviving?

I want my children to remember the little things we did. How we all became closer as a family. How boring it was to be stuck at home for a whole season. What we did to fill the time when they had six months away from their friends, away from school. I don’t want them to focus on the milestones they missed, or how shitty it was to have a mum who kind of stopped functioning for a bit. I want them to remember PE with Joe Wicks, seeing their grandparents for the first time, learning to play Monopoly and exploring the wilderness on our doorstep.

Effie and George, this is for you.