Finding a wedding photographer can be really hard. This quiz might not help you, but it might divert your attention for 30 seconds.

Firstly, weddings can feel kind of like a closed world, and secondly there’s actually too much choice. It often comes down to who you think is going to fit in well with your guests on the day. So I made this ridiculous quiz to help you. The inspiration for this quiz comes entirely from magazines I read as a teenager (Sugar, heat and Top of the Pops, if you were wondering), and we’re going for a mostly A’s, B’s and C’s kind of format.

what’s your perfect holiday?

1. A long messy weekend clubbing in Ibiza

2. Get some last minute flights and see what happens! We’ll go anywhere, see anything

3. An adventure in Mexico with beaches, hikes, mountains and a lot of food.

You’re on a secluded beach on your wedding day. The sun is setting. Your photographer is ready. What do you want to do?

1. Windswept romantic photos please. We’re embracing the drama and we like photos.

2. Literally just tell me what looks best, I need all the direction.

3. I want to get in the sea and splash and run around like two idiots in love.

Reunion with your uni mates! Where do you go and what do you do?

1. We’ll go back to our uni town and go to the classy places we couldn’t afford back then.

2. Long weekend at a music festival! What happens at a festival stays at a festival.

3. Renting an AirBnB in the middle of nowhere for a couple of nights on the pretext of going for a hike then enjoying a classy meal, but really we’ll just arse around like we always did.

It’s Confetti Time. What are we having?

1. White rose petals only

2. Not really bothered, we’ll have to see what our venue says is allowed

3. I’ve got a shoe box full and I’m worried it’s not enough so I’ve got 6 confetti canons too.

What’s your perfect Friday night?

1. Home from work and out in town til goodness knows when. We love a Friday night out!

2. Meeting a few friends at our local and then back home for some garden beers.

3. Out to a gig with a few mates, and grabbing a burger on the way. Living for the sticky floors and Red Stripe like it’s 2008.

Pick one of the menus below for your wedding day. This is literally the hardest question on the quiz, promise.

1. Chicken liver parfait & melba toast / Roast Beef / Trio of Desserts

2. A bbq with locally sourced meats and some epic plant-based options too.

3. Street food trucks all the way! A choice of pizza, bao buns and jerk chicken to cover all bases. And a dessert truck too!

Pick a song for your first dance.

1. ‘At Last’ by Etta James

2. ‘Home’ by Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros

3. ‘Suck It and See’ by Arctic Monkeys

Picture the scene: It’s 6pm and you spill a glass of red wine down your wedding dress. What do you do?

1. Pour white wine on it, get that stain out. Spend the next hour trying to dry the dress under the hand dryer, because that dress will not get stained.

2. Momentary panic, little cry, ask your best friend to spill wine down their clothes too.

3. I’ll just change into my second (very sparkly sequin) dress and think no more of it.

What does the rest of your life look like?

1. We’ll live in a beautiful house with children we absolutely adore. We’ll work hard and take care of each other, because we’re made for each other.

2. I guess we’ll carry on goofing around for a few more years then think about having a family, or just get a ton of animals.

3. I think we’ll be together forever, discovering more about the world, eating amazing food and seeing all the things we didn’t even know existed. Maybe we’ll have a family one day.

Your perfect wedding venue is…

1. A big old country house. Cosy, classy and bespoke.

2. A bespoke wedding venue in rural surroundings. It’s got something unique about it, but it’s somewhere everyone can feel comfortable.

3. Something that can accommodate our DIY vibes - a warehouse, a clearing in a forest, a village hall, our back garden…we could use any of these and it’ll look bloody brilliant.

Mostly 1’s

You guys! You’re super in love and super romantic. We’ll get along just fine but there might be someone out there even better suited to you.

Mostly 2’s

Ah my number twos. You’re a great couple and we’d get along great. I’ll fit in with your mates and get you a set of photos you love.

Mostly 3’s

Um, hello, ME. These are my answers, so if you’ve picked mostly 3’s we have a huge amount in common and we’ll get along stupendously. Looking for someone on your level? I might just be that someone.

Thanks for engaging with my very silly quiz! By now you’ll see that it’s not in any way a decent guide to whether I’m the right person to photograph your wedding. But if you think we’d get on and I’d do a good job, get in touch and let’s get to know each other. Equally, if this quiz has left you feeling kind of disatisfied and embarrassed, yay! You know I’m not the right person for you!