A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…weddings were simple. Everyone knew what was expected. The bride was (supposedly) a virgin. She wore white. Her father or other senior male relative basically sold her to a bloke, and niceness was optional. If they were lucky there was a party. There were even designated places for the family and witnesses to sit during the ceremony. God, marriage in my history-imagination sounds crap!

Thankfully, we’ve moved on rather a lot since then. But with these expectations and limits removed, navigating wedding planning can seem harder these days. Throw in a global pandemic and you’ve got a recipe for lots of tears and more anger than led Anakin Skywalker to becoming Darth Vader. And that little comparison led me to writing this blog post. Once I sat and thought about it/drank a few beers, I couldn’t help but notice that Star Wars is essential viewing for anyone having to navigate getting married in trying times.

Believe it or not, Star Wars, the story of a man who went to the dark side and spawned some intriguing children who hang out with bounty hunters and big furry bear dog things can provide lots of wisdom. I’m going to show you exactly how this saga of Jedis and Sith provides a path for weary couples, and hopefully show you that us wedding vendors are more like Ewoks than anything the Empire can throw up.

(Massive disclaimer: I rewatched all of Star Wars during lockdown. If you’re furloughed/off work/off school/bored to tears, I highly suggest a rewatch. If you haven’t seen Star Wars then 1. Do. and 2. This blog post might ruin it for you.)

You can always get a new arm/wedding date.

How many arms get cut off in Star Wars?! Chuffing dozens, I’d wager. But as we see with both Anakin and Luke, arms can be replaced. And so can wedding dates. It might take some back and forth between all your different vendors, but it’s definitely doable once you know what you’re happy to negotiate on. Most of us are working with couples to find new dates that work for everyone, with hopefully a bit less pain than having your arm chopped off by a lightsaber.

“Search your feelings” - Vader

I know you’ve already made all your plans. Those evenings you’ve spent together, after work, when you’re already knackered, finding the energy and love to plan your wedding. It’s hard to go back there when you’ve already got so much straight in your heads, but that is what you have to do. There might be hard conversations, and it’s actually totally fine to take the time to examine your feelings about things. Let those feelings happen (cos if you don’t, they’ll leak out one way or another anyway). Search your feelings and only make decisions you know are the right ones for you.

“Do, or do not. There is no try.” - Yoda

So, we’re not doing handstands in a swamp while trying to retrieve a sunken fighter ship, but it damn feels like it right now. The thing is, weddings come with contracts. Burying your heads and trying not to think about it can only get you so far. At some point, you’re going to have to pick up the phone, answer those emails, and do the things. If you don’t, you could find yourself cancelling the whole thing at vast expense. So do. Don’t try. Just do. We’re here and we’re ready to have those chats with you all.

Get a best man as good as Chewbacca

We all know Chewie is the absolute boss! Time and time again, he comes through for his buddies. From helping Yoda evade mercenary Storm Troopers during Attack of the Clones, to getting over his dislike of Lando and flying the Millennium Falcon to save his buddies in Empire, Chewie is a loyal friend. His love for Han saves the day more than once. He’s an excellent sounding board and always gives what we can only presume is his honest opinion. And he’s cuddly as anything.

This is exactly what you need on your wedding day. A buddy who’s always got your back.

“Stay on target” - Gold Five

This is a bit of general wedding planning advice for anyone navigating difficult questions from people who are questioning your decisions. Have the wedding you want! Now is not the time to give in to what people expect (see above: historical wedding traditions that just not right for you). Weddings have changed loads in the last couple of decades, and you have the world at your feet. What are your choices? What are you aiming for? The choices your parents made just aren’t relevant to your wedding - unless you want them to be. Don’t be afraid to have the wedding you truly want (because fear leads to the dark side), and avoid making choices you’ll regret.

“Be careful not to choke on your own aspirations” - Rogue One

Have you had any ambitious plans? Things like creating 100 place names from scratch, or making all the decorations yourself? If you have and it’s going well, then crack on. But if the DIY wedding you had planned feels a bit overwhelming that’s ok too. It’s a massive undertaking, and it’s easily under estimated when it’s just a theoretical plan. Actually doing the things, probably after you’ve had a long day at work and you just want to binge on Netflix, is quite different to the intention of doing the things. So do what works best for you. Whether that’s slogging through it bit by bit and staying on target, or shifting the target a little bit (rope in family and friends, or write it off and make a different choice), just do what you need to do to avoid choking on your own aspirations.

“Size matters not” - Yoda

Hands up anyone who might have eaten a bit too much chocolate during lockdown? Guilty. Actually, not guilty at all! This is a stressful time for all of us and who cares about putting on a few pounds and stopped wearing anything with waistbands. Whatever your size, you are gorgeous and worthy of feeling amazing. Whether it’s your weight or your celebration, the right size is the one you feel happiest with.

“Someone who loves you” - Princess Leia

This is one of my favourite parts of the whole saga. Han awakes from being frozen in carbonite, temporarily blind and looking like the morning after a big night out. The bounty hunter who defrosted him speaks with a crazy robot sounding voice, and he doesn’t know where he is. Obviously he asks who’s there. The bounty hunter whips off her mask and reveals herself to be Princess Leia, with the iconic line “someone who loves you.” GRAB THOSE TISSUES NOW. Love is flipping amazing. It makes us do crazy powerful things for each other, and it sustains us when eveything around us is completely shit. And what thanks does Leia get? Chained to Jabba and taken captive. But it’s ok, because she saved the person she loves.

So now that so much stuff has had to change, just think about this. Count the good things in your life and feel happy. You’re not alone. You’re with someone who loves you.

Teamwork makes the dream work.

Would the heroes of Star Wars have succeeded against the Empire if they worked alone? Hell no! The only people who truly worked for their own means all met nasty ends. Right now everything feels shit, while we’re all having to keep away from the people we love, but we can come together in so many other ways. And your wedding suppliers are always here for you too. We don’t want you to go through this alone. Weddings are one of the ultimate expressions of love, hope and teamwork, and your team is here, waiting to help you out. Plus Leia’s white dress in A New Hope is ultimate bridalwear goals.

May the force be with you